Why are you taking so long Groupon?

Many are (im)patiently awaiting the announcement of the Live Off Groupon finalists. After submitting our applications February 24, we knew the wait would be long, but now we are in double overtime and the stakes are high.

Never before has the phrase "Many will enter, few will win" held such a prominent place in my mind.

Don't forget to support the Groupawn in his/her quest by joining the Groupawn Help Network!

What is happening at Groupon HQ in Chicago? We can only speculate...so I will:

After selecting the finalists in their late night screening, there was much discussion and disagreement among employees. What started as simple dissent soon became heated arguments. These arguments led to a cultural divide between Groupon employees. Tensions continued until Monday when employees returned to work only to find their office ravaged by tribal warfare. It seems that employees divided into camps supporting their favorite entrants and the only way to resolve their differences was battle!

While the contestants all waited with bated breath, mashing F5 every 10 seconds (CMD+R for our Mac friendly friends), a civil war raged within the confines of 600 W Chicago Ave. The only thing that can save Groupon and the contest is that merlin of deals, Andrew Mason. He returned to the office after a business meeting to find complete disarray, desks and computers smashed.

He quickly restored peace with a wave of his Groupon Wand (I'm sure he has one, if he doesn't he will get one soon..) The contestants should have been posted at noon (Chicago time), but since all the computers were smashed and cellphones used as ammunition, no one could update the website, or even post to a twitter feed.

What happens next? Well no one rightly knows...perhaps a Groupawn intervention where all the contestants race to Chicago to help rebuilt the Groupon empire...


....or maybe they will update the website later....

They have made up the rules thus far, who would expect them to follow any of our notions?

The NEW official Groupawn Help Network

Look everyone Twitter Collaboration!

What started as a simple conversation has turned into a full forum to support the eventual Live Off Groupon contest winner.

@Gracefulfallen has graciously created a forum to house information for the Groupawn. With your help, we can create a network of support including laundry, lodging, and just plain fun for the Groupawn.

The logic behind this goodwill is obvious, as states by @gracefulfallen:

Don't get me wrong. We all still want to win. We just don't want the person that's ultimately chosen (even if it doesn't happen to be us) to fail.

So effective immediately, sign up on the forum and start posting!
Tell us where you are and what you can provide the Groupawn, even if it is just the pleasure of your company for a night on the town.

Remember the time when people extend a helping hand to random strangers? Neither do I...my generation was raised suspicious of strangers and anyone that needs help. Our national attitudes can change, even if it takes a while.

Here is a great way to start: Join the Network!

The Official (unofficial) Groupawn Laundry Network

In an effort to help the future Groupawn, I (with the help of @gracefulfallen) am compiling a list of locations where the Groupawn will have a friendly place to do their laundry.

It can be a harsh world out there, and the Groupawn certainly isn't going to lug an entire closet around with them, so it makes sense that they will be washing their duds a little more frequently than average.

After we all get over the initial depression and jealousy of not being chosen as the Groupawn, I'm sure a large number of us will actually want to meet this fortunate individual and help them on their quest of awesomeness.

Listed by their twitter handles are the individuals and locations where the Groupawn will find a friendly welcome:

@paulmorana - Central MA
@gracefulfallen - L.A.
@JoeGroupon - Seattle
@...

This will potentially turn into something big, so stay tuned:
Hit me up on Twitter! if you want to help the Groupawn!!!

What will the Groupawn miss most?

In winning the Live Off Groupon competition, the Groupawn will essentially relinquish their privilege to all their material belongings in life.

Depending on your disposition, this could be the easiest, or most difficult part of the entire challenge. Think of all the objects with which you interact on a daily basis:

Bed
Pillows
Clothing
Comb/Hairbrush
Car
etc.

For many of us, the hardest things to leave will be our electronics (guilty). Think of the year our cellphones, iPods, server farms, and pedometers (jk) will sit, alone and lonely.

At least there is the consolation that the Groupawn will have access to some necessary tech devices (namely a cellphone, camera, and laptop) to facilitate the competition.

Think about what you would miss the most and leave a comment!

Follow me on TWITTER
Watch my Live Off Groupon Entry Video

Groupawn Jingle

Sung to the tune of the Oscar Mayer Wiener Jingle(i stolz it from 1960s):

Oh i wish i were selected as the Groupawn, that is what I'd truly like to be/
for if I were selected as the Groupawn, I would spread the deals from sea to sea...

Cute...
Follow me on Twitter
Cuter..
My Live Off Groupon Entry Video

Why your existing connections don't matter!

Many Groupon contestants have well a established online presence. So you already have 852 Facebook friends and 2,654 followers on Twitter. You are either very popular, or good at social networking, or both. While these connections are excellent for self promotion and awareness, they do not necessarily increase your ability to be selected/win the Live Off Groupon competition.

What is important is your ability to create a new network. Just imagine, being chosen as the Groupawn is much like your first day in high school. You are dropped into a foreign environment, often without friends or resources. The Groupawn will face the similar challenge of rebuilding connections and allies in potentially hostile conditions.

There is a flipside to this scenario. The situation is not nearly as dark as the one I just described. I expect the Groupawn will become an internet celebrity, a meme unto him/herself. Just think, if only 500 people from each of the 40+ Groupon actively followed the Groupawn, that is a network in excess of 20,000 people. All with the potential to support and interact with the Groupawn.

Aside from the immense amount of personal perseverance required to complete this challenge, I am excited to think about the new people and experiences that await the Groupawn. Sure some of your existing friends will come in handy when you need to crash on a couch, but the genuine point of this contest is to start fresh. Everything indicates that Groupon would like the contestant to sever ties with their previous life and start again.

Please take 1:25 to watch my entry video: http://bit.ly/aicIM4
For the most up to date information and conversation on the Live Off Groupon competition, follow me on twitter: www.twitter.com/paulmorana

Thoughts...

"You're such a business person"
-in response to this "Live off Groupon entry video.

I might be considered a product of my environment, I live in boring ville, a lot has rubbed off on me in the past 3.6 years.

A new start would be nice, something to shake the dusty bureaucratic ideas from my head. Something where I could completely abandon this life to start a new one...OH you mean like that Groupon thing? Yeah I heard about that. Too bad the deadline passed and you can't apply anymore...good thing I did...

Groupon Deal @Crazy Dough's

I recently had the pleasure of visiting Crazy Dough’s Boylston St. location. (Video Here) My first visit to this restaurant found quick service, friendly staff, and an excellent atmosphere. Groupon in hand, I ordered an 18” Roasted Portobello and Goat Cheese Pizza dressed with sweet onions, red peppers, and drizzled with pesto sauce.

Even though the pizza didn’t last long (my friend and I made short work of the large pie in mere minutes…), the presentation was amazing, if it wasn’t in my stomach, it could be displayed in a museum. The ingredients were laid out in concentric circles while the pesto sauce framed the pizza in a grid pattern.

The sweet onions paired with the salty goat cheese made for a delicious adventure. The roasted red peppers, mushrooms and earthy pesto sauce rounded out this pizza fit for royalty, both vegetarian and carnivores.

To top off this heavenly experience, Crazy Dough’s also has $4 (+tax) pitchers of Pabst Blue Ribbon, one of my perennial favorites. With late hours, good food, and low prices, Crazy Dough’s is definitely on my short list of Boston weekend spots.

With locations @Boylston Street, Harvard Sq, City Place, and a fourth on the way, Crazy Dough’s is expanding to serve more of Boston’s hungry pizza lovers.

As manager Rich explained, Doug & Melissa Ferriman founded Crazy Dough’s using only fresh ingredients to create inspired pizzas. You can taste their dedication in each bite. It comes as no surprise that Crazy Dough’s is the two-time recipient of the #1 Pizza in America Award from the International Pizza Expo in Las Vegas. This excitement filtered down into each employee I spoke with, each had a passion for pizza

Rich was excited about the recent Groupon deal. He expects that many of the 2000+ coupon holders are new to Crazy Dough’s. This is an excellent opportunity to hook new customers on the addicting selection of slices and pies available.

For an unbeatable Boston experience, head for the nearest Crazy Dough’s location; be sure to tell them Groupon sent you. http://www.crazydoughs.com/

-Paul